Thursday, February 16, 2012
My friend Annie once told me that exhaustion will make a coward out of anyone. I know this to be true. Exhaustion and I became fast friends about five and a half years ago (five years, eight months and 6 days to be exact). Most days we function together, I've learned how to have a working relationship with exhaustion. However, there are days where it just flat out makes a coward out of me.
Today was one of those days. I'll admit I had some things against me. Drake is gone. I'm on a twenty-eight day detox (we'll talk about that later I'm sure). Samantha has a cold and has been waking up even more than usual. Trent, bless his heart, has had some residual effects that come with having a tummy bug. Nonetheless, I could feel my skin crawling and we had to get out.
"Everyone in the car"
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know"
After the drive-thru Starbucks where I had to forgo my usual Americano in lieu of a cup of tea, I asked the kids where they wanted to go. "The beach!" Juliana exclaimed. The beach it was. Like native Southern California residents our car is equipped with sand toys and a beach chair year round. It was the perfect escape.
I have a little girl who loves to collect seashells and will scour the shoreline in search.
I have a little boy who loves to make roads and highways in the sand.
I have a blooming beach baby who is still familiarizing herself with sand between her toes.
There's so much healing and rejuvenation that takes place at the beach. I got down in the sand with kids. We built a sand castle with a moat. Juliana beautifully garnished the castle with all her findings and Trent strategically placed toy fish and sea stars in the moat. They ran and laughed and inhaled the fresh sea air. We all left sandy and I was once again blissfully in love with my children. After veggie pasta and warm baths I tucked them in.
I'm still exhausted, but the Lord has revived my spirit. Part of being a mom is being tired. Not just physically but mentally. My children all have an intensity about them and thirst for knowledge and know-how. I love it, but it can wear me down. Thankfully I'm seeing just how perfectly the Lord has equipped me to be their mama. Also, that He's with me every step. Giving me wisdom when I ask and that extra measure of grace when I mess up. Today I cried out for just a little more energy and He granted it, two-fold.